Like with anything in life, success with online dating is a mental game.
And really quickly I want to talk about the mental attitude you need to have to have any chance at all of finding love, lust or even just companionship online.
First let’s talk about the mindset most women have when they dive into online dating for the first, second or fiftieth time and the self-fulfilling prophesy of failure it creates.
And to do this let’s use a typical online-dater who I like to call Carol.
Meet Carol (She might sound like someone you know.)
- 42 years old
- Divorced (and still feels wounded by it every day.)
- Feels beat up and betrayed by men. Carol is smart and works hard but her whole life, Carol has been waiting for her Prince Charming to show up, and he never has.
- Carol thinks online dating can “never work for her,” but she’s too old and has too much self-respect to go to clubs.
And Carol is lonely.
Desperately lonely.
After her kids are asleep, Carol lays in bed at night feeling a need through her body and her soul for a man who desires her. For a man who makes her feel safe. And for a man she can actually trust (though she’s felt her ability to trust a man wither to dust year after year after guy after guy broke her heart.)
So when Carol writes her profile and dives in to online dating she is…
- Wounded
- Needy (neediness is the opposite of attraction.)
- Jaded
- Doesn’t really like or trust men.
- Setting herself up for failure (in fact failure would feel like a “win” because it proves this online dating thing doesn’t work. Ha!)
In Order To Actually Meet Great Guys Online You Need To…
- Love yourself and see yourself as apprize worth going after. (You don’t NEED a man in your life, you WANT a man in your life.)
- Love and appreciate men for who we REALLY are, not for the fantasy you’ve wished they were since you were a little girl.
- See meeting men as a GAME that’s actually FUN as opposed to some horrible chore and a chance to have your self esteem shredded like beef on a taco.
Why is loving yourself so important?
Because there’s simply nothing more attractive to good men than a woman who has real self esteem, likes who she is and doesn’t need a man in order to feel good about herself.
Plain and simple, the more you love yourself (without getting egotistical about it) the more the man of your dreams will love you and the more successful your relationship will be.
So here’s your assignment for today…
In the next module you’ll see a worksheet called the “I Like Myself Game.”
Do exactly what the worksheet says and post it in the comments section of this module.
This will be hard. Your ego and self loathing will RAGE and insist that you talk about the bad things about yourself. Don’t do it.
Once you’ve finished the “Game” and posted it, move on to module 2 where eI give you a guided tour of how MEN use online dating. (fun!)
