Rules of the Test Date

Remember: No matter how much you’ve emailed you don’t know this guy at all.
Leave all your expectations on the keyboard.
Go into the “Test Date” with curiosity about who the guy you’re meeting actually is.

Did he lie in his profile and if he did lie was it a minor lie or a major one? (Guys often lie about height and income while women lie about weight and age.)
Do you have at least some chemistry?
Is there basic compatibility? Do you LIKE him?
Does he smell good? (Pheromones matter.)

This date is no big deal. (Easiest way to do this is to have lots of dates lined up.)
Subtly: He has to prove that he’s worth your time (don’t throw yourself at a guy.)
You are NOT “dating” just because you’re on a date with a guy
There’s a big difference between “I have to impress him” and “He has to impress me.”
Remember: You are a prize to be won. If you believe that he’ll believe it too.
This doesn’t mean being “aloof”. It means being friendly but not desperate.

Mid day coffee in a public space (or a drink after work)
Maximum 30 minute commitment (an hour on the outside.)
Always have something you have to do and somewhere you have to be 2 hours after the date starts. A REAL commitment so you aren’t tempted to extend.
It’s not so much a “Date” as a meet and greet. You’re just trying to see if this is actually a guy you want to date in the future or not.

Him.
Yourself.
Interests you know you have in common from your profiles and from the emails you and back and forth.

Your ex (or exes.)
How long you’ve been single.
Sex (unless you’re just looking for sex.)
Your drug addictions (seriously.)
Mental illness, bankruptcy, how much you hate your parents…basically anything too negative. There’s time for that later.
Remember to relax and have fun. This is a game. Even a bad test date can turn into a great story.

Who should pay?
Always reach for your purse.
If he doesn’t offer to pay that does NOT make him a bad guy. He might just be confused by the modern “rules of dating.”
If you don’t want to see the guy again you should DEFINITELY pay your own way.

“I had a really good time, call me and maybe we can do something next week.” Set something specific up if you can.
No mixed signals. Guys are often SCARED of women.
End with a hug (no kissing on the test date and DEFINITELY no sex no matter how hard he tries.)
Enjoy the tension while it lasts.

“I’ve got to go. It’s been really nice meeting you but I just don’t feel any chemistry.”
(Again, no ambiguity.)
Shake his hand, look him in the eye and say goodbye.
You don’t owe him any explanation or anything else.

Keep your online profile up until both you and a guy decide you are an exclusive couple.

Date multiple men. It is ASSUMED you are seeing other people until you have the conversation saying you are not.

The more dates you have the less important each date is going to feel. This is a good thing.

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