Sin 1: No Photo, or a Photo of a Cat/Butterflies/Waterfall
- What guys think when you don’t have a photo is that you have something TERRIBLE to hide…
- Having a “blurred out” photo is just as bad.
- The “Butterfly” photo on Craigslist (where you have a picture of a butterfly so you’ll still show up if somebody looks for ads with photos only) is a bait and switch.
Sin 2: A Picture Of You With Your Much Hotter Friend
- Use the crop tool dammit!
- Rodney Dangerfield in Back To School—“If you want to look thin, hang out with fat people.” This is like that but the opposite.
- Having pictures of you with your “equally or less attractive friends” is OK, but make sure the photo is about *you*.
Sin 3: Pictures of Your Kids In Your Profile Photos
- If every profile photo has your kids in it it makes guys think you’re looking for a co-parent, not a date/boyfriend/naked gymnastics partner.
- Even guys who love kids get pushed away.
- Having thousands of random guys see what your kids look like is creepy. Don’t do it.
- We’ll talk about how to handle your kids in your profile later.
Sin 4: “Slutty” Photos
- Skin is a douchebag magnet.
- Even really nice guys turn into cavemen when they see skin.
- Sexy photos will get you a LOT of emails, BUT they won’t be from guys you want and they’ll establish the wrong tone (prepare for an inbox full of cucumbers.)
“Slutty” versus “Non-slutty” photo examples…
Not Slutty. Confident. Full body (or most.) Imagination. Says “I’m a person.”
Too Much Skin. High angle. “Pouty lips.” etc. Says “I’m a toy.”
Being proud of your body is awesome, but those pics don’t belong anywhere near your profile. It just draws too many jerks. Besides, it’s nice to have something to imagine.
Sin 5: The “I Don’t Want To Be Here”
- Charlie Brown Half Smile.
- Bad lighting
- “Well, this is me!”
- Your photos need to show the BEST version of you and show enthusiasm.
“I really don’t want to be here and have no self-confidence.”
“I’m awesome and fun and you’d be lucky to date me.”
Sin 6: The “Cell Phone Selfie.”
- Invented by teen girls with gravity-defying tits.
- Can be cute if done well, but if you’re over 30 it’s not for you.
- Like Jane said in my interview with her, if all your shots are taken by you it makes it seem like you don’t have any friends or are somehow ashamed of dating online.
- If you ARE going to use a self-shot, crop your arm out.
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Sin 7: The “Out of Date” photo
- Bait and Switch.
- NEVER ends well (unless you actually look better now than you did then. I’ve had that happen exactly once.)
- If a photo is older than 6 months it’s probably out. (Unless it’s a clearly marked huge accomplishment photo which we’ll discuss later.)
