How Long Should You Chat Online?
As short as possible.
Two weeks on the absolute outside.
You’re not “dating” online, you’re just being introduced online.
If a guy seems reluctant to actually meet in person, cut the chord and move on. So many fish in the sea.
Should you talk on the phone before you meet in person?
Only if you really want to. You’re better off getting to the first in-person date as quickly as makes sense.
Too many emails (and then too many calls and texts) just wastes time and heightens the disappointment if you don’t click (or if he doesn’t’ match is profile.)
If He Ask You Out…
- No “Premium” dates for the first date (Friday, Saturday.)
- No extended or “formal” dates for the first date.
- As you’ll learn in the next module, that first date isn’t really a “date” at all. It’s a test.
For example:
Tyler: “I’ve really enjoyed talking to you. What are you doing on Friday, I’d like to take you out.”
Sherri: “Friday and Saturday are all booked up and I have plans with friends Sunday night, but I’d love to get together for coffee on Sunday. How about 2pm at Starbucks?”
Tyler: “Want to make sure I look good in person, huh? =) OK, Sunday is good for me. Here’s my number. See you there. I’ll be the good looking guy sitting all by myself =).”
If he insists on a “real” date it’s a danger sign and he’s moving way too fast.
If a Bunch of Messages Go By and He Hasn’t Asked to Meet In Person…
- Your Spider Sense should go off.
- Some guys are just shy, but if a guy seems reluctant to meet in person it often means he has something to hide.
- It’s totally OK for you to ask HIM out if you do it the right way.
Sherri: “I’m going to the Starbucks on 9th and Cherry on Sunday to get some reading done. You should come by for a few minutes so we can meet in person.”
Notice…
- She’s not “asking him out.”
- She’s giving him the opportunity to be where she’s already going to be.
- Big difference.
- If you share a social circle you can also just mention a party or event you’re going to be at.
If he hems and haws, refuses to meet up or flakes on you more than once move on immediately.
Canceling a date once because of an emergency is fine, but if he does it more than once it means he’s never going to put you first if you actually date him.
Up Next: The “Test Date” Module
