Talking About YOU…
Before We Go Any Further…
If you haven’t done it already, go back and do the “I Like Myself Game” form Module 1.
Make sure you look at the study of the “transformed” profiles I show you in the Profile Transformation Bible in the Bonus Content section.
“Toxic Modesty” (And no, I’m not talking about your clothes.)
If you’re like most women you’d rather bathe in razor blades than talk about yourself (never mind say actually NICE things about yourself.)
Our culture teaches women to focus on what needs to be “improved” about you instead of what’s already great about you and what you have to offer.
Most folks think they’re “Being modest” when they’re actually being “Self loathing.”
This is why I make you do the “I Like Myself Game” in 3rd person – it’s way easier to talk about “Sarah” than it is to talk about “Me.”
Confidence and Knowing Who You Are Versus “Being Egotistical.”
“Mike the thing about you is you don’t think you’re better than everyone else, you just don’t automatically assume everyone else is better than you.” – My friend David.
Confidence means…
- Having a realistic view of who you are, what you’re great at and what you have to offer the world.
- Knowing your limitations and weakness but focusing on your strengths. (Personally, I”l never be a jockey or a ballet dancer. Oh no!)
- Knowing who you are and loving who you are.
- You’ll never find love unless you love yourself first.
The Movie Trailer Of What It’s Like To Date You…
- The best version of you that entices great men to want to learn more.
- No lying. No stretching the truth even, but you don’t bring up the “baggage” in your profile.
- Think light comedy not depressing Russian epic. You can’t depress a man into wanting to talk to you.
- Mindset: “I”m living a great life and going great places and I’d like you to come along.”
Part 1: The Introduction…
“Hi, my name is (insert name)…”
Look, you just wrote the first line of your profile!
The Perfect 5 Sentence “About You”…
- What you do for fun…
- What you’re passionate about…
- What you do for work/money…(American’s are obsessed with this.)
- Your looks and personality.
- Something surprising about you.
What you do for fun…
- Start with what you LOVE to do.
- Use ACTIVE language and DETAIL.
- Paint a picture in the mind of the reader so they can SEE you grabbing life by the horns.
Active Language Example #1:
“I’m a rock climber.”
vs.
“The air just tastes better at 5,000 feet. My fingers are calloused from scaling rocks and my cheeks constantly ache from the joy I get from climbing another boulder and watching another sunset.”
Active language means dropping into the middle of YOUR story (like the opening of the first “Star Wars” movie – stuff was already happening when we showed up.)
And you can do this with ANYTHING.
Active Language Example #2
“I love funny movies!!”
Becomes…
“I’ve memorized every line of “The Big Lebowski” and have a black hole in my memory from the first I saw ‘Bridesmaids.’ My friends say I blacked out from laughing too hard but I like to think that I just temporarily went to comedy heaven.”
Active Lanuage Example #3
“I’m pretty boring, really”
Becomes…
“Only boring people get bored. My perfect Sunday involves laying in the park, getting lost int he clouds and feeling every blade of grass against my skin.”
You can include multiple activities in one line…
“My fingers are calloused from climbing every rock in Washington. I’ve got every line from the Big Lebowski memorized. I once baked a cake that made Nicholas Cage cry. (Maybe I’ll tell you that story someday.)”
What you’re PASSIONATE About…
- What cause gets you out of bed in the morning? If you didn’t have to work, what would you dedicate your life to? What do you CARE about on a deep and fundamental level?
- Like I said before, do NOT make this section about your kids (even they are awesome). This profile needs to be about YOU.
Passion Example:
“I like animals”
Becomes…
“If I had $10 million dollars I’d build a giant animal shelter that looks just like Snoopy’s dog house.”
(Or you can be less funny.)
“I love dogs more than I love most people and girt my teeth in anger whenever I hear of somebody hurting an animal.”
What You Do For Money…
- Never put this first unless your job is your absolute favorite thing in the world.
- Focus on what you’re PROUD of about your job that reflects well on you.
- No “My job sucks” kind of stuff.
- If you don’t have a job or really hate your job, skip this part.
Work example #1…
“I’m an accountant.”
Becomes…
“I swim in numbers all day at work. I can balance a checkbook with my eyes closed, know tax law better than most people know their middle names and take vicious glee in helping my clients grow their businesses.”
Work Example #2:
“I’m a grade school teacher.”
Becomes…
“I spend my days keeping future CEO’s, scientists and movie stars from getting paste up their nose. Nothing makes me happier than seeing the lights go on in a little kid’s eyes when he finally gets that one tough math problem. I go home exhausted and happy and eager to talk to a real adult.”
Your Looks and Personality…
The best thing about you either physically or personality wise (or both.)
Your “Super power.”
Yes, this means bragging a little.
Pretend somebody else wrote it but you have to use first person pronouns.
Looks and Personality Examples…
“My favorite part of my body are my eyes. I can melt random bag boys just by looking at them and have never lost a staring contest.” (The staring contest line has a hint of CHALLENGE to it, which many men respond to.)
“My friends say I’m the most loyal person they’ve ever met. Once you’re in my tribe I’m there for you forever. Nothing makes me angrier than seeing a friend in need.”
Something Surprising….
- Funny, off kilter, weird, fun or just incredibly impressive.
- For me: “When I was 14 years old I was named the best Bag Boy in all of central Massachusetts.”
- Great chance to build in curiosity hooks for a guy looking at your profile.
Something Surprising Examples:
“The President of the United States once spilled a drink on me. If you’re lucky maybe I’ll tell you the story.”
“There’s 3 things about me that surprise most people. The first is that I’ve never eaten peanut butter. The 3rd is that I can do eerily accurate bird impressions. You’ll only find out the 2nd one if I think yo’ure interesting =).”
What To Do Now…
Look over the example profiles again. See how we used this formula to write the “About you” section?
Read through the hand-out and worksheet that go with this lesson. Review the ideas and then come up with FOUR ideas each for…
- What you LOVE to do with your free time…
- What you care about deeply…
- What you’re proud of about your work…
- One of the BEST things about you…
- Something surprising about you…
Once you’ve done all that take your best sentence from each section and post it in your comments. You’ve just done the HARDEST part of your profile.
Up Next: What You’re Looking For In A Man.
